F.O.M.O. The fear of missing out. The reason we allow our friends to drag us out on the weekend when we’d much rather stay home and binge watch This Is Us. The reason we spend money we don’t have on products we don’t need simply because it’s the hot new thing. Odds are if you are a young, unestablished millennial like myself you have been plagued with the F.O.M.O. bug on more than one occasion. It’s not like we can help with! There’s always a new wanderlust Instagram photo of your friend’s recent trip to Cuba. Or the seemingly never-ending stream of engagement and gender reveal videos on Facebook. Social media oversharing has led many of us to feel like we are always living life on the sidelines.
The root of F.O.M.O. is discontentment. When we feel like things in our life aren’t happening as fast as we think they ought to, we become uncomfortable. But what if I told you that there are beauty and purpose in this discontentment? That it’s necessary to jolt us from our complacency and primes us to make some necessary changes? Here are three things to keep in mind about the blessing of sitting on the sidelines.
Everything Happens in its Right Time
I believe in God. I believe that He either causes or allows things to happen in our lives when they are meant to happen. Whether you are religious or not, understanding that everything in life has a season will go a long way to eliminating your F.O.M.O. Usually, when you embrace the idea that now may not be your time, you realize that there is a bigger lesson at stake. For example, I do not own a car. Now, this may not seem like a big deal to some but for a recent college grad working at one of the biggest talent agencies in Hollywood, it can be a bit of a hindrance. Almost every morning I think that if only I had a car I would be able to sleep for an extra hour. Instead, I drag myself out of bed and to the bus stop for my hour and a half commute. When I am leaving work at 7 pm and its dark outside, I’m not exactly excited about the fact that I won’t walk into my house for almost another 2 hours. But in these last two months of working, I have come to replace these thoughts with potential lessons that this period of waiting is teaching me. Not once in my short time at my job have I been late to work. My superiors see my punctuality and attribute it to a great work ethic. When I finally put a down payment on my first car next month, I will take pride in knowing that I worked hard and sacrificed to accomplish that goal. So am I upset that I don’t get to sleep an extra hour? Of course, I am! But at the end of the day there’s a season for everything and right now mine is a season of sacrifice.
Stillness Isn’t Idleness
Have you ever watched a sporting event and taken a good look at the people sitting on the sidelines? Not really right. Me either. Most of us are completely tuned into the court or the field. But those players on the sidelines aren’t just doing nothing. Any athlete worth their salt closely pays attention to the game, even from the sidelines, studying what their teammates and the opposing team are doing. They are figuring out what works, what doesn’t work and formulating their own ideas about what to try when it’s their turn. The same goes for those of us in a waiting season. Instead of being frozen by your fear of not being in the game, prepare yourself for what you will do once you are. Single but want to be in a relationship? Start working on loving yourself as fiercely as you would a significant other. And I mean dates, gifts, the whole nine! Anxious to get a promotion at work? Come up with a preemptive plan to manage the increased workload you’ll receive once you land that promotion. Just because you aren’t in the game yet doesn’t mean you are allowed to skip practice!
Embrace the Small Great Things
So if you’ve gotten this far into the post then you’re probably thinking “yeah Mia what you’re saying is nice and all but I still want awesome things to happen for me like they do for everyone else.” What I’m trying to show you is that they do, every single day. One of the problems with social media is that we get to see the highlight reel of someone’s life and not the outtakes. You see the shiny new engagement ring but you don’t see the almost deal-breaking argument the couple had 5 months ago. Or you see the brand new ‘Sold’ sign in front of a classmate’s new home but you didn’t know that they lived in their car for 2 years during college. Instead of comparing your outtakes to their highlight reel, focus on the small great things that happen to you every day. Sometimes it’s the friendly person who adds coins to your parking meter so you don’t get a ticket. Other times it’s an unexpected text message from a friend just because you came to their mind. Small great things happen to us every day that when looked at as the sum of their parts equates to more than just one short clip in a highlight reel!
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Photography// MIRIAM BRIBIESCA for MIA BRUMFIELD
