What do you do when you are the “strong” friend in your circle? The one who everyone comes to when they need to vent. How often do you put your own stress on the back burner because you are worried about burdening others with your problems although they have no problem doing it to you? Being the “strong” friend is exhausting and rightfully so. We aren’t designed to carry the emotional weight of the world. As the “strong” friend, you have to learn to prioritize your well-being over others’. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity. We can’t pour into others when our cups are empty. That’s just not how it works. Here are a few ways to take care of yourself when you’re “the strong one.”
Meditate
Being aware of where you are emotionally is super important when you are the go-to friend in your clique. Before you can go and offer someone else advice, stop to assess whether you are capable of dealing with their problems. Meditating is such a great way to do this. Spending even just a few quiet moments focused on you and you alone allows you to gauge how full your emotional cup is. Over the course of the last month, I have been incorporating meditation into my daily routine using the Calm App on my iPhone and I can already tell a huge difference in my mental health.
Designate ‘Do Not Disturb’ Hours
How many times has someone advised you to set boundaries with your friends? Did you wonder what that even looks like in real life? Well, one actionable way that I learned to set boundaries is to designate ‘do not disturb’ hours. No one should be able to routinely hit you up in the middle of the night to unload their emotional baggage on you. Once in a while, sure. Things happen. But every Friday at 1 am after your girl has broken up with her man for the billionth time? Nah, that’s out! My friends know that if they hit me up after 10:30 pm, I may not always respond. That’s not to say that I won’t answer but by establishing this boundary I have given myself a CHOICE. When someone knows they have unlimited access to you, they can abuse that. Put your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and get your sleep, sis. Let your friends know about your designated me-time or don’t! It’s your world.
Be Strong by Being Vulnerable
This tip may seem counterintuitive but it’s not. There is a reason your friends see you as the strong one. Do you keep your problems to yourself? Do you have trouble being open with others? Everyone in your tribe doesn’t need to know your business but you should have at least one person who you can be open and honest with. Start being more vulnerable in your relationships and your crew will recognize that you need help too.
How do you take care of yourself while being the “strong friend?”
