Mental wellness has always been important but these last few weeks have sent many of us through the ringer. How are you feeling? With ransacked grocery stores, sudden school closures and uncertain job statuses, most of us are experiencing higher levels of stress than usual. Even if you don’t feel super stressed, that doesn’t mean that your body and spirit are not feeling the effects of this craziness. To continue my Women’s History Month spotlight, I sat down with Kimberly Haley, massage therapist and owner of Relaxed and Restored, to have an honest conversation about maintaining your mental wellness and regulating stress during chaos. Here are her tips for managing stress when the world has lost its mind.
Identifying Stress
We all operate every day under a certain level of stress. When we experience major life changes or events outside our control (like COVID-19) the rate of stress increases and can affect our mental and physical wellbeing. According to Kimberly, this stress can be “passive or intentional.” Passive stress is induced by activities and behaviors we do unintentionally. This could be not eating well, not getting enough sleep or even working out too much. Intentional stressors are the behaviors we actively control that can induce stress. Getting married, moving or starting a new job are all examples of intentional stress.
What if you don’t think you are stressed but your body or thoughts have suddenly changed?
“Establish what is your norm… how do you move through the world,” Kimberly advises. “Some people are high functioning. Moving at 100 miles per hour is their norm. When they are not, that’s when their body starts shutting down. For other people, its the exact opposite.” Take a moment to really think about the conditions you thrive in. Use that as a baseline to measure changes in mood or behavior that may be stress related.
Managing Stress
When asked how best to manage stress, Kimberly emphasized the importance of practicing self care. “Self care doesn’t have to mean booking a luxury trip but it should have certain criteria.” To be most effective, she says that self care should be “fulfilling, personal, and priceless.”
- Fulfilling– Self care should add to you. “We often label things that help us escape, like drinking or vegging out, as self care. Is it really fulfilling if it takes you away from your health goals though?” Self care should make you feel good, not guilty.
- Personal– “Self care doesn’t look the same for everybody.” What you find valuable and fulfilling may not be the same as me and that’s ok. Your self care activities are special because they are unique to you.
- Priceless– “Whether it cost a lot or a little, because its fulfilling and going to add value, [self care] is fluid in the sense that there’s no price that it has to be.” Ball out and book that luxury trip or spend a weekend at home in solitude with Netflix and snacks. Self care should make you feel good whether you spend a lot of money or a little.
Kimberly’s Go To Daily Self Care Practices
- Meditation– “My method of meditation is primarily focused on breath,” she says. Metered breathing involves inhaling a breath, holding it and releasing it for a specific amount of time, let’s say 4 seconds. Metered breathing is great for grounding yourself in the moment if stress makes you feel that everything is racing by.
- Essential Oils– You may be familiar with aroma therapy and the use of essential oils. If you’ve been curious about it, Kimberly encourages you to give it a try. “I use essential oils as emotional support surrounding mood.” Two beginner friendly fragrances she recommends are lavender and peppermint oils.
- Frontload Your Day– Starting the day off right is so important for managing stress. Kimberly advises “frontloading your day” with behaviors that promote a positive mindset. For example, she struggles with her daily water intake so she makes an effort to start her day by drinking 32oz of warm lemon water. This makes her “feel cozy” while also helping her feel accomplished. Knowing that she has consumed almost half her daily water intake before work puts her in a good mood and sets the tone for her day. Start your day with practices that will help you greet your day positively!
Want more advice on mental wellness? Follow Kimberly on Instagram and visit her site, Relaxed and Restored.
