Living Alone: What I Learned in the First Month

It’s been about two months since my last blog post and a lot has changed. In the midst of us living through a global pandemic and a revolution, I moved out of my parent’s home and into my very first apartment. I’m living alone for the first time ever! This was a major accomplishment for me. One of my 2020 goals was to move into my own apartment before my 25th birthday this August and on May 1st I checked that goal off the list.

The first month of living on my own wasn’t exactly what I expected it to be. I have always been an introvert and homebody so I knew that finally having my own space would be a welcome change of pace. And at first it was. The first two weeks of living on my own were everything I wanted them to be!! But once the excitement of furniture arrivals, Amazon packages and home decorating subsided, something else started to creep in. A surge of loneliness so powerful that I’d never experienced before.

You see, I have never been truly alone. I have always lived either with my parents or college roommates. I have never been in a place where there was no one to come home to at night. No one to talk about my day with. And yes while technology makes it super easy to connect with people, there’s still nothing like in person human interaction. 

By week 3 of living alone, my anxiety was increasing daily. 

Maybe I made the wrong choice? What if I don’t actually like living alone? Maybe I should’ve gotten an apartment with one of my friends instead. Can I even handle the responsibility of living by myself? I mean until this point I’ve kinda just been playing at being an adult. 

All kinds of thoughts were running through my head. Self doubt and visions of me failing to properly manage my finances and having to move back in with my parents kept me up at night. 

Eventually I shared a few of my thoughts on Instagram. My mother read the post and immediately Facetimed me. She asked me what was going on and I tried my best to explain the jumble of emotions I was feeling. I cried. I sat in silence when I didn’t have the words. And the whole time my mom was there listening, reminding me that I am never alone. She told me that the emotions I was experiencing were normal. She encouraged me to give myself grace because major life transitions are not easy. And finally, she told me to get out of the bed. At 3 o’clock in the afternoon I was still in bed when she called. I just felt overwhelmed and didn’t want to do anything but sleep. But my mom told me that would only intensify and feed the negative thoughts swimming through my head. 

So I got out of the bed. 

I ate a bowl of my favorite cereal. Went for my run in my new neighborhood. I called a friend who is always a constant ray of sunshine. And by that weekend I was feeling like myself again. 

Living alone, like any major transition, is a process. It may take a while to get used to it. But living alone doesn’t have to be scary. You may experience loneliness but those feelings won’t last forever. Do your best not to isolate yourself from others and stick to your usual routine as much as you possibly can. Embrace this opportunity for self-development. Now is the time to learn how to talk to yourself and how to master your thoughts. Revel in your newfound freedom! Walk around in your undies, play your music as loudly as you want or enjoy the peace and quiet. 

Living alone can be whatever the heck you want it to be. And that’s the beauty of it. The first month of living on my own wasn’t exactly what I expected. But it was exactly what I needed.

How did you feel when you lived on your own for the first time? Leave me a comment and let me know!